“Sometimes I open my mouth and my mother comes out.”
We are a product of our environment and language is no exception. While age-old ‘Mum sayings’ like “We’ll see” or “When did your last slave die?” roll off my tongue, so too does some less desirable vernacular at times (that I’m almost sure my own mother never used). But this mother’s day, let it be a day that we celebrate all the imperfections of motherhood and sit guilt-free reading one of these wildly inappropriate picture books to our beloved children…or just to ourselves in a the bath with a glass of wine.
“We’re finally watching our movie. Popcorn’s in the microwave. Beep. Oh shit. Goddamn it. You’ve got to be kidding. Come on, go the f*** back to sleep.”
My love affair with the original story of The Tiger Who Came to Tea by Judith Kerr meant that I couldn’t resist grabbing a copy of this parody. Not yet in the throes of teenage hood, I imagine this cheeky story is pretty spot on for all those parents in that lovely stage. The original book is from 1968 so parts of the story are a little outdated; my favourite re-write is about the shift in parental roles:
“And it can’t be Mummy, because she’s the main breadwinner, and is a kick ass corporate lawyer in the City…”
3. Where the Wild Mums are
by Katie Blackburn and Illustrated by Sholto Walker
This book epitomises the highs and lows of motherhood. Despite being utterly exhausted and in desperate need of some ‘down time’, a mother’s heart never really leaves home. For every Mum out there, who needs to return to the wild every now and again…we feel you!
“A yacht lay on the sands and Mum stepped into it and floated away across time and space until she came to the place where the Wild Mums are…”
Tomorrow is Mother’s Day and yes it feels a little different this year. While the world celebrates the beauty of motherhood (and it is beautiful), we hope these picture books reveal some hilarious truths behind the ‘picture perfect’ Mum and give you a little giggle.
To all the mothers, step mothers, grandmothers and dedicated aunties…
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!
Your ‘Speechie Mums’,
Janice and Tania